One Year No Beer - Learnings
Last year I stopped drinking alcohol.
I dwelled over quitting for a while.
I rarely cultivated a good relationship with alcohol. I relied on it in social situations. I noticed how one drink weighed me down. My mind raced for weeks replaying moments after drinking.
On days full of celebration and joy, I’d feel terrible.
I was a mess.
So I quit.
I did it for my mental health. I had no grasp of my identity and didn’t know how to lean on a support network.
Since stopping, I’ve discussed the journey with people.
I’ve learnt how similar my experiences are with others.
Here are three learnings from my year without alcohol:
It doesn’t make your problems go away
I believed if I quit drinking, my problems would vanish.
I thought sobriety was the answer. I discovered I wasn’t asking the right questions. I shifted my external environment without addressing what was happening internally.
“You think that if you change things outside, you’ll be okay. But nobody has ever truly become okay by changing things outside. There’s always the next problem.” - The Untethered Soul - Michael A. Singer
New problems arose, old ones resurfaced. It was confronting realising that this change was a distraction. Awareness sprung to the other external changes I’ve made in my life.
Relationships, travels, moves, interests. Across all these things, I am the common denominator.
Although this is a healthy change, it is showing me to address the real work within.
2. The power of stripping things back
I’m grateful to be facing this uncomfortable truth.
Stripping things back is giving me space to see what is going on.
I can’t blame it on anything else anymore. It’s me.
This journey is piquing my curiosity towards other experiences that simplify things. Off-grid experiences, silent retreats. When we reduce the noise, we can acknowledge what’s happening inside.
3. People don’t care
Breaking the social norm was my biggest barrier to quitting.
In Australian culture, drinking slots into endless environments. I hesitated sharing my sobriety for the first three months. I thought it was going to be a big deal.
It’s not.
People have so many things going on in their lives. Me not drinking doesn’t take up much of their brain space.
When I share that I’m not drinking, I’m often met with kindness. People will respond with how they’ve had a break or know others that have quit. You’re not the first person in the world to stop drinking and you won’t be the last.
Rarely you will be put in awkward positions. Sometimes you will feel out of place and uncomfortable. In these moments it’s important to remember who you’re doing it for.
You.
As a people pleaser, I know the craving to fit into social groups. Resisting this need to assimilate and doing something for myself is helping me forge deeper connections to those around me.
People will support you if you share your intentions.
This blog’s intention isn’t to preach sobriety. It exists for you to notice yourself. How to change your relationship with the world when you start listening to yourself.
16 months of sobriety has shown me that I will always be a work in progress. The need to check-in with myself as my relationships to everything change. I’m discovering the depth of how many things I’m responsible for and what I can let go.
Does this need to happen sober?
Probably not.
Will I drink again?
Not sure.
Right now I don’t feel like it.
